back again. with some thoughts.

Dear diary

I'm stuck. Stuck with a couple of things. 
Family. Work. Life. 
I realized it is hard to balance everything as much as you wish you could. It's always harder than what you imagine. 

Family.
Stuck at care arrangement. Mum has to go for treatment. Everyone has their own priorities and opinions. I think what we lack is communication? I hope everything will work out fine. 

Work. 
Stuck with career development. I'm due for posting. I'm offered an opportunity at an office working on a new project. Steep learning curve and busy workload is expected. I hope everything will turn out fine. 

Life.
Stuck with finding love. Happy with familial ties and friendships I have. But when will I be loved and find someone I love. Secretly, I'm always envious of people who are being loved and have someone to love, and I wish I will be like them one day. FATE? 

STUCK. 
All things add together - stressed, frustrated, lost, sad, helpless. 

In need of some positive energy~

Thanks for reading. (:

巧合。

对你来说什么是巧合呢？

是天时地理人和？
是想到， 说到或梦到后，偶然遇见？

那什么是注定的呢？

是兜兜转转， 转转兜兜，但却回到了原点？
是失去了， 但又回到身边？

那什么是缘分？什么是灵验？

什么是任命？

是不管发生什么事情，都咬紧牙关， 硬着头皮地去面对？

to embrace or to hide.

Learning to embrace.
Easy to say hard to practice.
I hope I can but so far it seems difficult.

接受于逃避。
很多时候都很想接受，但说得容易。
结果不能接受时，就选择了逃避。

在深夜的时候你会想什么？

每当深夜睡不着时，你会想些什么呢？

我啊，想烦死了！ 想为什么人得做工时得顾虑到那么那么多的东西呢？为何不能简单一些呢？为什么人总是那么复杂呢？ 想我该换工作吗？会后悔吗？ 想我是不是得孤独终老？ 想为什么人总是有那么多事情得去思考呢？ 想我是不是要求太高？ 想我是不是有问题？ 想如果当初没考虑那么多，今天会如何呢？ 想如果能接受，结果又如何呢？ 嗨。。。 我是不是想太多了呢？ 有谁能给我答案呢？ 看来，很像只有我自己才有答案哦！！ 哎，好纳闷啊！

为什么为什么为什么为什么为什么！

还是喜欢夜深人静的时刻。能有自己的时间。：D

confused.

i'm so confused. like seriously. totally have no idea on the position/stand/direction, whatever it is. can someone tell me PLEASE? so hard to find a balancing point. i think i can last any longer.. AND. whatever sensitivity/great plans there are. please make up your mind and set a direction. so that we wont be moving round and round on the spot. oh wells. whatever it may be in the near (or not near) future. just work hard and work smart, i guess. ciaos.

reaction.

如果要问心情如何，说真的：有心的话就不会忘记；说假的：没关系，都已经过了。

wells, anyway who cares right? I'm just thinking too much perhaps. Life still goes on. (:

保护自己。

很多时候，身边的人总是会告诉我，做任何事情都要保护自己。我认同了。但是我发现往往我在面对事情的当儿，会不知道要该怎么做！不知该怎么做才能保护自己又不伤害到别人。

深奥呀！

难道得经历过，尝试过，体验过，才能学会吗？
所谓的'learning the hard way'?

也因为这样，偶尔还觉得自己很笨，很白痴！

嗨……

不论如何，人生还是要走下去！学着吧！

加油！！ 😠